A Passion Beyond Her Years

Those of you who know My Little Bun Head know that she is a kind, caring child with an unquenchable thirst for learning. She LOVES learning and challenging herself. In fact, the other night, she became very angry with her dad because she was on page 4 of her weekly homework packet ( she brought it home that day) and my husband told her she had done enough for day. He asked her to put the pencil down and go outside and play. I know what your thinking....How dare he tell her to go play. Well that is what SHE was thinking. She was so angry with him.

My Little Bun head applies this same passion for learning to ballet. She thrives on being challenged, on focusing, on improving. We recently changed Ballet studios and had a placement class. At the end of her class the teacher said based on her skills she should be in a level 1 class but because of her age she would like her to be in the beginning ballet class. We agreed knowing that My Little Bun Head would do well and that it would probably take more than one placement class for the new school to see what the old school already new. So we made the switch in September. It has been a month and a half and I started to become concerned. I watched class after class where she was bored and not dancing to her full ability. Then My Little Bun Head said over lunch, "Mom, I really miss my old teachers." I asked her what she missed and she said. "I miss them because they push me". As I picked my chin up off the floor began to dig a little deeper. My gut feeling that she wasn't getting enough was confirmed.

Before we talk about what happened next lets take a look back. When, at the ripe age of 2, My Little Bun Head came to us and said she wanted to be a ballerina her dad and I agreed that we were going to follow her lead. If this is really what she wanted then we would support her if she decided she wanted to stop we would support her as well. So far this has worked very well for us. We listen closely, follow her cues and look out for her best interest.

So now we are back to the most recent events. I knew when my 4 year old came to me saying she was not being pushed I needed to have a conversation with her teacher. This is the part I dread. So many times I have heard "that parent" tell teachers how they should be teaching or what level their child should be at and I never want to be "that parent" but I do want to be involved and look out for the best interest of my child.
So last night I sat with her teacher and had a great conversation. I shared the conversation that I had had with My Little Bun Head. Her response....."I can tell you right now she is not being pushed in this class and it has been weighing heavy on me." As those words came out of her mouth she almost had a look of relief.  Probably the same look that I had as I was hearing her words.We spent the next 30 minutes coming up with different options to keep her challenged and engaged. I shared with her my fear of being "that mom" and she put me at ease with her response, " You don't sound like 'that mom' but you have 'that child'. She also warned me that I will probably be having these conversation about her abilities and what is best for her for a very long time. At some point, if she continues with ballet, we will be talking about what Summer Intensive program is best for her, what school is best for her and many other topics.

We have been so blessed to have such amazing teachers in My Little Bunheads life and that she continues to wow us with her abilities and passion for life and learning.

I knew this would happen

As a parent, we want to protect our children. We want to make the right decisions. We want them to be happy, to be healthy, to be proud of themselves, to be humble, to be a good friend, to care about others....I could go on and on.

Throughout this journey that my little bun head has taken us on, I have struggled, wondering if we are making the right decisions for her. We know that ballet is her passion, that she has a love for performing, being on stage, being the best at what she does. She is four now and in a level with 5 and 6 year olds. The girls in her class have always embraced her. Some of the girls even stand up for her when parents have thought she was from a younger class level. The parents from her class often tell me that their daughter will go home and say "I want to be flexible like Carlin" or "I want to dance like Carlin". When I am told this I can't help but be proud of my girl.

Because Carlin is younger I have always known that there will come a time when her age will cause some issues. Yesterday, at rehearsals for her upcoming performance some girls from her class were taunting her a bit. Chanting "Carlin's four, Carlin's foooouuurrrr". I didn't hear it at the time but was told by a little girl that Carlin had said "I won't be your friend anymore". So when I went to speak to Carlin about what she had said she informed me of what happened. My pour girl was crushed. It broke my heart to see her upset. I new this would happen at some point. I know this is not the last time this will happen. I know that as she gets older it will get worse, harsher words will be used. I get it!

What amazed me about my sweet, talented bun head is the conversation she and I had after dinner last night. We were going over the days events and she retold the story of what happened. She told me that she, in that moment, didn't know what to do. The only thing that she could think of was to tell them that she just wouldn't be their friend any more. She said that she was sorry she said it. She also said that after she said it she remembered that instead of saying "I wont' be your friend anymore" she should have just walked away, and next time that happens she would do just that.

I am so blessed to have this little girl in my life. She continues to lead me on this journey of her life. She is wise beyond her years, blessed with talent and such a caring heart.

Yes, everyday I will struggle, wondering if we are making the right decisions for her but I think I will continue to follow her lead and trust that we are.

I love you bun head! Momma is so proud! You are four!

New Year

Well its been awhile since my last blog but we took the summer off of ballet and have now started a new year.

At the end of last year my Little Bun Head was told she would move up to the next level with the other girls despite her age. She was so beyond excited to get to wear a black leotard like all the other big girls. This year I was able to attend the parent orientation before classes started so I feel like I have more information than I did last year. At that orientation I had a glimpse of how the other parents in our level feel about Miss Carlin. A Grandmother of a girl in Carlin's class kept telling Carlin that she was not in the preparatory class because she was to young. She did not believe Carlin. One of the other moms overheard the conversation and proceeded to tell the grandmother that Carlin is indeed with the prep class! It was so nice to see that the other moms embrace Carlin and are just as supportive of her as I am.

The director of the school always jokes with me that Carlin could walk into the advanced class and dance with the "big girls" We laugh and joke about it but this last week she got her chance. Carlin had completed her class and decided to visit the other studio. In that studio were three of the oldest/best dancers in the school, the advanced class. She was standing with her mouth open in awe ( I think she has a little girl crush on Hannah, the principal dancer) Miss Nadya looked at Carlin as the girls were doing Tondus on the barre and said "you want to practice with them?" and Carlins answer was a big head nod YES! I helped her get her shoes back on and off she went, to the barre, standing by Hannah. She was so focused and tried to do every move she could. She did not give up. Twenty minutes later she final said she was ready to go home. Miss Nadya and Miss Susan were proud of her fearless attitude and confidence that she would be able to keep up!(Click this link to see a short video) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EL9_IWssuK4

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Throughout  this ballet adventure I have wondered if we did the right thing by putting her in a higher age group/level than her age. Wednesday we got our answer.  I had to take Carlin to an early class because of parent teacher night at her preschool later that evening. Her make up class would be with the girls that are her age. At the end of the class her teacher came out and said we are no longer allowed to bring her to that class because is way to advanced for the primary class. It was then that I took a breath and new that she is right where she needs to be!

I am sure this year will be full of fun adventures. I cant wait to watch my Little Bun Head grow!

Its Almost Show Time

WOW! I can't believe its almost here. Carlin's first ballet performance, well her first ballet performance in a theatre. She has performed many, many times in our living room, in driveways, in restaurants and anywhere she can sneak in jete or two.

I have learned a lot over the last few months.  The communication at this studio, or lack there of, has been a struggle for me but I now am getting emails and learning to deal with the chaos of being a "dance mom". The business woman in me wants to just take over so the instructors and director can just do what they do best but I know that I need to sit back and let it happen.  Enough about me...


Carlin has been doing so well in her school. She continues to be focused and enjoys every moment of class and rehearsals. I am fortunate to be back stage for one of the performances so I have been involved in her rehearsals. I have been in awe of Carlin's ability to stay in control, stay focused and learn every day. She keeps up with the girls in her group. They are all four and a half or 5 years old. Just the other day, at class, the director was so impressed with Carlin's whole class they will all be moving up.

My mom took Carlin for pictures yesterday and the director just kept telling her how talented Carlin is. I could not be any prouder!  Today Carlin told me when she woke up that she had to dance this morning since she did not get to dance yesterday. Not a day goes by that some sort of ballet is being watched or performed in our house. My Little Bun Head is addicted.

Journey to find a ballet school

For the last several months my little Carlin Grace has shown a passion for ballet. Watching videos of ballerinas on YouTube, watching Swan Lake on Prima Princessa videos. ANYTHING and EVERYTHING ballet! We recently went on vacation to visit My sister-in-law in Burbank and Carlin took her first ballet class, well actually, her first two ballet classes, all in one day. The first with girls her age and the second with 5-8 yr olds. (Thank you to Miss Daiana from www.dkdancefactory.com) Upon her recommendation we started our search for the right school. After many calls and a bad experience we came across Arizona School of Classical Ballet (www.azclassicalballet.com) She participated in her first class with other 3 year olds and was invited back to try the 4 year old class. She fit right in and is now a student there. We are so excited she has found a home! She is now practicing for her first show where she will be part of 3 routines in May. I cant wait to watch my little bun head grow.