A Passion Beyond Her Years

Those of you who know My Little Bun Head know that she is a kind, caring child with an unquenchable thirst for learning. She LOVES learning and challenging herself. In fact, the other night, she became very angry with her dad because she was on page 4 of her weekly homework packet ( she brought it home that day) and my husband told her she had done enough for day. He asked her to put the pencil down and go outside and play. I know what your thinking....How dare he tell her to go play. Well that is what SHE was thinking. She was so angry with him.

My Little Bun head applies this same passion for learning to ballet. She thrives on being challenged, on focusing, on improving. We recently changed Ballet studios and had a placement class. At the end of her class the teacher said based on her skills she should be in a level 1 class but because of her age she would like her to be in the beginning ballet class. We agreed knowing that My Little Bun Head would do well and that it would probably take more than one placement class for the new school to see what the old school already new. So we made the switch in September. It has been a month and a half and I started to become concerned. I watched class after class where she was bored and not dancing to her full ability. Then My Little Bun Head said over lunch, "Mom, I really miss my old teachers." I asked her what she missed and she said. "I miss them because they push me". As I picked my chin up off the floor began to dig a little deeper. My gut feeling that she wasn't getting enough was confirmed.

Before we talk about what happened next lets take a look back. When, at the ripe age of 2, My Little Bun Head came to us and said she wanted to be a ballerina her dad and I agreed that we were going to follow her lead. If this is really what she wanted then we would support her if she decided she wanted to stop we would support her as well. So far this has worked very well for us. We listen closely, follow her cues and look out for her best interest.

So now we are back to the most recent events. I knew when my 4 year old came to me saying she was not being pushed I needed to have a conversation with her teacher. This is the part I dread. So many times I have heard "that parent" tell teachers how they should be teaching or what level their child should be at and I never want to be "that parent" but I do want to be involved and look out for the best interest of my child.
So last night I sat with her teacher and had a great conversation. I shared the conversation that I had had with My Little Bun Head. Her response....."I can tell you right now she is not being pushed in this class and it has been weighing heavy on me." As those words came out of her mouth she almost had a look of relief.  Probably the same look that I had as I was hearing her words.We spent the next 30 minutes coming up with different options to keep her challenged and engaged. I shared with her my fear of being "that mom" and she put me at ease with her response, " You don't sound like 'that mom' but you have 'that child'. She also warned me that I will probably be having these conversation about her abilities and what is best for her for a very long time. At some point, if she continues with ballet, we will be talking about what Summer Intensive program is best for her, what school is best for her and many other topics.

We have been so blessed to have such amazing teachers in My Little Bunheads life and that she continues to wow us with her abilities and passion for life and learning.

I knew this would happen

As a parent, we want to protect our children. We want to make the right decisions. We want them to be happy, to be healthy, to be proud of themselves, to be humble, to be a good friend, to care about others....I could go on and on.

Throughout this journey that my little bun head has taken us on, I have struggled, wondering if we are making the right decisions for her. We know that ballet is her passion, that she has a love for performing, being on stage, being the best at what she does. She is four now and in a level with 5 and 6 year olds. The girls in her class have always embraced her. Some of the girls even stand up for her when parents have thought she was from a younger class level. The parents from her class often tell me that their daughter will go home and say "I want to be flexible like Carlin" or "I want to dance like Carlin". When I am told this I can't help but be proud of my girl.

Because Carlin is younger I have always known that there will come a time when her age will cause some issues. Yesterday, at rehearsals for her upcoming performance some girls from her class were taunting her a bit. Chanting "Carlin's four, Carlin's foooouuurrrr". I didn't hear it at the time but was told by a little girl that Carlin had said "I won't be your friend anymore". So when I went to speak to Carlin about what she had said she informed me of what happened. My pour girl was crushed. It broke my heart to see her upset. I new this would happen at some point. I know this is not the last time this will happen. I know that as she gets older it will get worse, harsher words will be used. I get it!

What amazed me about my sweet, talented bun head is the conversation she and I had after dinner last night. We were going over the days events and she retold the story of what happened. She told me that she, in that moment, didn't know what to do. The only thing that she could think of was to tell them that she just wouldn't be their friend any more. She said that she was sorry she said it. She also said that after she said it she remembered that instead of saying "I wont' be your friend anymore" she should have just walked away, and next time that happens she would do just that.

I am so blessed to have this little girl in my life. She continues to lead me on this journey of her life. She is wise beyond her years, blessed with talent and such a caring heart.

Yes, everyday I will struggle, wondering if we are making the right decisions for her but I think I will continue to follow her lead and trust that we are.

I love you bun head! Momma is so proud! You are four!